The California Moores Visit

It was such a good thing - this visit. She needed to see him - she NEEDED to see him. He needed to see her.
She wanted a cigarette but she didn't want to leave his side. She didn't want this evening to end.
She climbed in the car, wrestled with the seatbelt, the car door closed. Finally the barrier she had dreaded was there. She waved and forced a smile that was more of a grimace. She did not want to cry.
"Granny looked scared," one of the grandkids said as the car pulled away.
"Well, Sis was driving - what'd you expect?" he joked. What else could he say? "She is scared, Sweetheart. She is scared she will not see us again. She is scared."

Newport

Newport, originally uploaded by artmore1.

This was a fun place. It's next to the Newport Aquarium and has an Imax.

winter-trees

winter-trees, originally uploaded by artmore1.

This is not a black and white photo... it is hard to imagine now in early September, what six months down-the-road will look like... something like this...

Some somethings...

It seems to me that losing a parent is very often a process.

This is such strange language - "losing a parent" - I could make fun of this turn of phrase but I realize that it is actually appropriate. I have lost her - or I am losing her. Her body is still here with us but I don't know where she is. I recognize that she is in a strange place - a place I can only know when I get there. I can't be there with her now.

She seems to be uncertain and a bit dissatisfied about it all sometimes - and other times she is resigned and accepting. She doesn't say she wishes she could remember anymore - she just says she can't.

She is happy to sit on the front porch now - something she never seemed to enjoy previously. It is almost a passion. "We love it out there!", she exclaims to me when she tells me that she and Dad have been out there most of the day.

What happened to the mom that wanted to stay out of sight and out of the limelight? The mom that always stayed at home when we lived in the country? The mom that some people assumed had already passed because they had not seen her in so long? She's on the front porch in a house in town - smoking and knitting - most all day. Most everyday.

Is she shedding her earthly misery now? Is she seeing the light at the end of the tunnel? Is she free now? Free to show herself to the world - free to be a part of it because she is no longer long for it? Was most of my life my mother's chrysalis? Is she ready to spread her wings and shine and fly and leave all the unhappiness behind?

Even when she is confused or addled, she is sweet and tender with me when we talk on the phone. Her voice sounds like she loves me - like she knows I am her child and she is conveying something of great importance to me.

But she is failing. She is failing and I am in the same boat my brother is in, really. We both think that if we don't acknowledge it, it won't BE. I just do it much closer than he does. Well, it is happening. I can't deny it much longer. It is hard.

I just want what I have always wanted: for her to be happy. I hope that when she makes this transition, that the universe will see fit to bless her with all the hope and happiness and joy that slipped through her fingers in this lifetime.

Mid-week blahs...

I am feeling frustrated with my schedule. I always want to pack too much activity into my allotted time. It seems that I do so little that is meaningful and rewarding at work and have so little time to do what is meaningful and rewarding outside work. Hmmm....

Another really occassional update...

Since it is so much easier for me to post photos to Flickr, I will probably stop posting photos here and use this venue for posting largely trivial, unimportant and self-absorbed rants.
It is going to be a hot day in Central Kentucky and I am going to my nephew's soccer game at the height of the heat. This is love.
I am putting off mowing the yard until this evening since I had other errands (filling animal meds and getting animal food) this morning. And I really just wanted to relax with a couple cups of coffee and enjoy the morning light on the patio.
It has been an unseasonably wet summer and the mosquitoes will carry you off in the evenings so morning patio time is especially appreciated.

I am so encouraged by the number of people in my neighborhood who are switching to re-chargeable battery operated lawn tools! I have had a Neuton mower for almost 5 years now and I love a lot of things about it! In fact, the only thing I don't like about it is the narrow cutting path but it was the only model offered at the time. Now they make one with a wider, more conventional sized swath. They are quiet, pretty much maintenance free, you don't have to store oil and gasoline around the house, you can bag or mulch - it's a win/win deal. Seeing so many folks choosing this technology is really exciting! See this link for some interesting details: http://www.neutonpower.com/ContentPages/CSTM_CM_Dirty_Truth.aspx

New House Guest Next Door!

Meet our new neighbor! It has been wonderful spending a little time with her. Our neighbor is a licensed wildlife rehabber and a local vet dropped this baby off to her tonight. She is about a week old. She was found in a stand of trees in town. It has been interesting learning about her from our neighbor. The folks who found her meant well but they probably should have left her where she was because young fawns have no scents and they stay wherever their mother puts them - without fail. The mother would have returned tonight after dark and was probably not very far away, anyway. Our neighbor is making a valiant effort tonight to locate the mother and reunite these two. If that can't happen, this baby will be placed with a rehabber who will work to raise her to be be wild.
In the meantime, we were blessed with her company and I wanted to share with you! (The setter is Rose who has mothered a lot of our neighbor's temporary house guests. She wanted to clean and care for the baby just like she was her own.)

New Photo

A drawing of myself this morning...

Just messin' around this morning waiting for the dew to burn off so I can start mowing the lawn. Thought I'd share.

Around our house 25 April 2009

The Birthday Trip to Pine Mountain!

What a great weekend we've had! It was great to get out in the woods and hike. Pine Mountain was the first state park in Kentucky and it is gorgeous. Even though I would appreciate a more aggressive GREEN campaign at out state parks, we are really blessed to have such a great park system in Kentucky!

Over the last several years, we have enjoyed several of Kentucky's state parks and, with the exception of one (General Butler), been impressed every time. Natural Bridge, Cumberland Falls, Jenny Wiley, Barren River, Fort Harrod, Perryville Battlefield, Blue Licks are all wonderful! (The only real problem with General Butler was the abandoned remains of the defunct ski lodge that perched spookily along the trail. It needs to be taken down - badly! I would think it would be an insurance risk to have it so exposed and accessible to the public - not to mention the simple eyesore factor!)

Anyway, I think Pine Mountain may be our favorite so far! The trails are all on the shortish side but they link together to make for an enjoyable hike. The primary form of trail marking seems to be park benches. About the time you suspect you may have wandered off the trail, a park bench appears and reassures you that you are in fact, still on the path. The exception to this is the final few yards on the Fern Garden Trail - which was almost devoid of benches anyway. The end of this trail really rambles. As dusk closed in on us, we almost turned around opting for a sure thing when we crested the ridge to see the log cabins ahead of us. Whew! Here's a map of the trails - I added some notes.
The cabins are great. They are clean with modern facilities yet they are authentic log cabins. The fireplaces are made of big rough stones and are really rustic. The windows have shutters that afford both complete privacy and near total darkness for sleeping in on a Spring morning.

NEW! Updated Website!!

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Spring is HERE!!

The Bradford Pear in front of our little house...

I can't wait for this to blossom fully! Ain't Spring great?

Around Central Kentucky!

This is what I love about where I live: a local bike shop with great service AND a good selection of bikes, a local coffee shop with live music and the local food cooperative! My sister and I spent the day together and it was delightful. I had such a nice time. It was relaxing and rejuvenating.

My seedlings in the basement and SNOW this morning...

Life is good! Healthy, happy seedlings inside... pooches playing in the snow outside!

Mom and Dad say HELLO to my brother...

Amazing how no matter what, you CANNOT get a picture of Mom smiling or laughing... but she was - really. And you can't get a picture of Dad NOT smiling.

Another photo and video from the neighborhood...

This photo and short video are from a walk we took around the neighborhood yesterday afternoon. Today everything is melting as it never dropped below freezing overnight and should be close to fifty degrees today. Kentucky weather! We really have the best of all possible worlds.

short (and rough) video of backyard in snow...

This is the view from my studio window this morning!

The Snow, The Ice, The Backyard!

My friend Felix sitting in front of my computer...

This is our youngest cat and the only male (neutered, of course). The wallpaper on the computer is the other two cats, Felicia and Ginger. He had just finished staring at them for about 3 minutes when I shot this video. This is kind of an experiment to see how well shooting video works on the still camera and how easily this loads onto the internet.

Another portrait...

This is Sparky, my Chow/Shepherd mix.

A portrait of Lynn...

... Same one as before - reworked.

A whole week later but finally...

I get to paint some more! Whew! I didn't think it was going to happen anytime soon. On the bottom is what it looked like shortly after starting today and then what it looks like now. I'm happy to get to work on it some more. It may be close to done.

Everybody should have the day off tomorrow - EVERYBODY - for Martin Luther King Jr's birthday and EVERYBODY should get to watch the inauguration on Tuesday - if not also have that day off. I have never gotten to see an inauguration but somehow I will see this one! Wish me luck!

End of the day...

I'm stopping for the day. This is the progress. Hopefully, I'll be able to work on it some more tomorrow. I'll keep posting progress...

This is the new project today...

Okay so forget the cow(s) for now. That was not working out so well. (I have been reworking scanned images of the cows in Corel Painter that I think may turn out - I will post - good or bad - when I am done - or at least later.)

Today, I woke up with this idea and just had to go with it. I will keep showing the progress.

The garden in winter...

The photo of the garden is mainly for the benefit of my brother. Who would have ever thought I would have a garden? Two of the three raised beds are 4' x 8' and the third is 5' x 12'. We are planning a fourth bed for next Spring and long term plans include a small greenhouse. We use organic seeds (mostly from Seeds of Change) and build up our soil lasagna-style. My brother inherited my mother's green thumb and I think he would enjoy this garden. I've also included a couple of photos of 2 of our pets: Sparky is the Chow mix in the backyard and Felix is the cat in my studio window.